Mat’s Blog

The one too close to home March 24, 2011

This blog was written over 48 hours from 22-24 march

I am an overweight, slightly balding man approaching 30 years old. It is rare that i celebrate any of these facts; indeed in the last fortnight of blogs I have mentioned combatting two of the three. It is very rare that I consider any of these to be an advantage; until now.

You will undoubtedly have seen that a young woman named Sian has gone missing from outside a nightclub in Swindon.

I have an obsession with breaking news it seems; the Raoul Moat saga was breathtakingly interesting and I have been the same for years; the first big event I remember watching unfolding was obviously the World Trade Centre but in my third year of university I remember vividly the toppling of the statue of saddam Hussein.

I thought I’d been cured at Christmas; the missing woman in Bristol was something I paid attention too but not necessarily as much as previously. Maybe that was because of Christmas getting in the way.

It scares me. To think one of the reasons I didn’t move to Slough was because of the high crime rate there v Swindon at least and now someone goes missing. It’s been a long time but there’s a hope that she isn’t in the wood the public have been so diligently searching and that she’s been old fashioned kidnapped and is alive but shaken.

It impresses me so much how the Swindon public have pulled together and how much social media has played a massive part in the campaign to raise awareness.

———————-

Yesterday I had a day off; there weren’t many developments except they asked he public to stay away from the forest. They ended the day ominously; they were sure they would find Sian in the next 24 hours. A bold statement.

But one that turned out to be almost certainly correct. After jumping from wood searching to a completely differen line of enquiry they put a call out for a green estate taxi that was seen between the areas of Suju and the wood where her phone lost signal. They found the car, and the owner, within two hours thanks to a public tip off-in the Asda I had been shopping at 24 hours previously. Not trying to claim I was at any risk, for all the reasons at the start of the blog; just emphasising quite how close to home it feels; probably because it IS.

He confessed to kidnapping Sian and also to her murder and to the murder of another person; he also directed the police to their bodies. Can there be any doubt this man is guilty? If someone says “I did it” and points the police to what looks like his garage and garden for not only the person they are looking for but also a further body……I’m all for innocent until proven guilty but surely in this case we kind of know. Anyway.

Horrible, horrible news. I’m glad everyone I know is safe considering how close the risk is/was but my heart goes out to Sian’s family and the family of he as yet unnamed other. What worries me more is this other person had gone missing and nobody seemed to know.

I’m sure we will learn more as time unfolds. They are yet to confirm that one of the bodies is sians but they say they expect it to be the case.

The media aren’t allowed to report the mans name or the address but it’s Ashbury Avenue in Swindon……too close. Far too close.

The one with no anal leakage March 18, 2011

A lack of blogs, yes; however usually this means I have failed. Not so much this time.

A blog was planned entitled “The one with the dismissed idea” which was put forward by one of my staff at work. The theory for Lent is as follows; that Sunday is a day of rest and, thusly, whatever one has given up for lent is allowed to be done on Sundays.

Now, I’m not religious, but I had to bring up a point. I am pretty sure that Jesus fasted for 40 days and 40 nights (several things in the bible happened for 40 days and 40 nights….odd) and that he was actually in the wilderness at the time. I argued that Jesus couldn’t nip to Tesco on Sundays as his break from the wilderness on a Sunday after which they backed down and agreed. I win again.

But the idea got me thinking. How wise, I thought. To fast/diet for six days of a week and then allow a small extravagance on the Sunday is actually genius. It got me through the last three days of last week’s fruit and veg because I had a reward; something to look forward to. The end result was that on Sunday I ate a (shock, horror) 400 cal Quorn Meatballs meal (a little too much sauce on the sauce v Balls ratio but very nice) and a Weight Watchers Macaroni cheese from the little shop around the corner. Both filling; both not too bad for me, despite not being fruit or veg. And, better still, I feel full a lot more quickly. Recently, when becoming full, if I continue to eat I end up with horrific stomach cramps as explained in the previous blog, so now if I only eat until I’m full then I’m going to lose weight by default. In theory. I think I will continue the reward scheme of Sundays, unless I see it getting out of control. I may even stretch to a small fish and chips this Sunday as a reward for 2 weeks of fruit and veg horror. The idea of fruit and veg was to lose weight and remind me how nice fruit and veg are; and whilst the first few days achieve the latter the fact that I am then trapped into eating only that makes me hate fruit and veg, which is the exact opposite of the desired outcome. Boo. Still, in theor, the weightloss bit should work.

On that subject, I am quite disappointed with my actual weightloss. I haven’t had a weigh since Tuesday this week but I had lost a paultry 4lb, which I consider to not be good enough. I’d have liked to have lost half a stone over the two weeks as a minimum, especially for how hungry I have been and this nonsense fruit and veg I have been eating. However, I have been having a relatively large amount of potatoes, which, whilst falling into the remit and not being bad for me, still aren’t exactly fruit and veg. Where’s the green stuff? In my defence I always had it with peas. One of my favourite meals was Mash, Leeks, Peas and gravy. Very veg based, nice mix of stuff but with some gravy to give it a bit of extra moistness. When I bring meat back in a chicken breast in there would make a lovely meal.

The Mother has offered to buy me three months supply of Alli tablets. Alli is a weight loss assisting tablet that gives you a 50% boost on your weight loss. So, you lose 2lb normally, it makes it 3lb. It does this by preventing the body from absorbing 25% of the fat that is eaten so less turns to actual calories, essentially reducing the calories you eat by about 25%. The key there is as part of a calorie controlled diet which is largely what I’m aiming for. Of course, there are side effects – tastefully phrased as “anal leakage” – but reading actual users reviews they say it varies massively on what it is you actually eat. For example, you eat a healthy diet of white meat & veg & bran, then your body will work properly. However, you eat a Macdonalds meal, which hasa much larger fat content, then the Alli will be converting more of the fat into poo, so there will be more poo. And, as it isn’t a solid thing, the fat, it will be liquidy poo. Which could result, potentially in leakage.

The positives push through though; an extra 50% on weight loss, and, equally as importantly, the fact that if I eat shitty fatty foods I stand a high possibility of shitting myself. Now if that was some sort of psychological conditioning then I don’t know what is. I think, however, that I will take the Mother up on her offer. However, they aren’t cheap.

Something else that isn’t cheap is hair. As you may know, I have become the proud owner of a bald patch on the crown of my head. I’m not really embarrassed or ashamed; I don’t wear a hat our toupee etc but it is, naturally…..I was going to say “at the back of my mind” now before realising that’s kind of where it is…..but you know what I mean. So, when I saw this new hair foam stuff that they were actually selling in real shops, like Boots, and not just on the internet, I thought I’d have a look. Turns out that it costs £80 for a month’s mousse, and that you have to continue to apply every month forever. Sod that for a grand a year; I’ll just deal with it like I have been since it reared it’s ugl……wait……since it arrived in 2005.

I am looking forward to Sunday. A day off – work has been very busy and it’s still going to get worse before it gets better (doesn’t stop me enjoying it!) and then I need to start factoring some exercise into the equation to really help that weight loss and bring the number down down down down down down. I will do badmington every Tuesday with work people and then another night I will do a minimum of 2 hours in the gym, rising to 3 and then four hours as I get fitter. I can start swimming again on days off and all sorts of stuff. Maybe I’ll even get into a local 5 a side team or something.

The one with the Limit March 9, 2011

Day shift at work and the girlfriend had been lovely enough to pack me a packed lunch. Not a lunch per say, but a bag of fruit. And lots of it. It got me through the day, along with a few black coffees with sweeteners. I didn’t have any breakfast though, which was kind of a mistake; I’m debating whether bran flakes should be allowed back into my diet. I can’t see why not; well, I can because they’re not fruit and veg but they are as good, if not better, than a lot of fruit and veg. I expect. But then, there’s the milk.

I was late home from work; I forget why, but I have a hell of a lot on my plate at the moment and everywhere I look a new piece of (sometimes very large and/or important) work pops up out of nowhere. I delegate as much as I can but I do need to do this more; this has been my weakness for some time but if I am going to succeed in my current job– which I will – then I will need to do more of this. But it’s going to get worse before it gets better, I just need to stick in there. Devoid of any energy to cook for myself properly when I got home – even though I had asked the girlfriend to prepare her frankly awesome jacket potatoes (I don’t know what she does, but they are the nicest jackets I have ever, ever had) so I resorted to what I had last night but in a slightly larger portion – mash and peas. The mash has a dash of milk in it but probably only 15ml or so, so it can’t be that bad. I have been avoiding milk – the only milk I have had is a dash in both the mashed potatoes I have had this week, actually.

I am tempted to weigh myself tomorrow. I haven’t weighed myself yet for fear of how bad I have become sat here in my fat shirt and fat trousers and fat jacket. But I always found that losing weight really spurs me on and to have nothing to measure against makes that difficult – really difficult. So I think tomorrow I will have a quick weigh to see where I come in at and I’ll look at it relatively regularly, not necessarily weekly or on any timescale, but perhaps when I need a pick me up. Likewise, this blog isn’t necessarily daily, and it’s not much like ye olde diet blog that came into existence back in ye olde 2007 – I felt when I was trying to write these last time that I was putting extra stress and pressure on myself to write them which ruins the whole point really. This is meant to be a soundboard for my thoughts and feelings and if I feel pressured (only by myself I admit) into writing it then I feel like a songwriter without a muse, waxing lyrical without any point to the piece. Much like the last 100 or so words, but never mind.

I have made a decision though. This fruit and veg shit can’t last forever. It’s been three days and I’m already not happy with it. So, I have put a two week limit on it as anything after that is madness. It did make me think, though, that I started my diet coincidentally just before Lent – 2 days before, in fact – so what I will do is carry on being a vegetarian until Lent is over, whereby I will go back to eating healthily. I’ll be a vegetarian that eats no bread or cheese though.

Work tomorrow night this time; haven’t done a night shift on this diet before and a lot of the time that is where I’d fall apart; food from work or worse on the way home from a 24 hour drive through or pasty-wielding service station.

Oh, this morning, by the way, I looked out of the living room window to take stock of the tempaerature and whether to wear a jumper and a jacket and saw something weird staring at me from the opposite side of the block’s bin compound. Smiley it was, and staring right at me. And yellow. I was briefly very freaked out and on my way to the car, naturally I needed to investigate. And even more naturally, I had to take a photo.

I don’t even know what this is or where iot could have come from. It’s like a scarecrow, but crossed with a sunflower, wearing a checkshirt with a purple bow tie. And a massive grin. Or maybe it has a mane and isn’t a flower at all? Either way it looks like it sits in the ground in a field or allotment to scare away creatures from crops. But what is it’s function in the bin compound and where has it come from? We couldn’t be much further from any allotments or fields really. Odd.

Oh, and the cat is mental. There I was, happily lying on the sofa, and where should she chose to come and sit? On my face. Sigh.