I didn’t get to sleep in the end. Not one wink aside from the 7 or 8 minutes before I woke up with the standard nervous nightmare, which now my only recollection of is reading the blog – I dont recall the dream now in my own mind just what I wrote about it and damn it still freaks me out a little.
Anyway. Gloucester. 8am. Started my first shift. Maidenhead, about 6pm, started my second.
Unfortunatley food really did suffer today. Started the day with some cherry tomatoes and philly.
But it went downhill from there. I once again fell into the Panini trap in Gloucester when i got 2 minutes to myself about 2pm – which, incidentally, was the first thing I had eaten that day. Being at home is not good for me, especially when there is nice food around. There wasn’t that much nice food as the Mother wasn;’t expecting me, so that was OK. And worst of all in Maidenhead I had a sausage and a burger – both left over from a party which was over cooked for, so they were just there, looking at me, and all the other shops had shut, and I was starving. But I was WEAK, dammit. So, so weak. I was tired, I hadn’t slept, had done 2 shifts and driven for two hours at high speed inbetween and I was weak. I ate them, they were nice and gave me a little bit of energy.
But none of this weakness is helping the losing weight idea. That’s two weekends in a row now I have found a lame excuse to let myself go a little. I was too scared to even weigh in last week and I think I’m going to be too scared this week too. Sooner or later I’m going to have to stop fucking about and get on with it properly because I suspect right now I will be higher than my starting weight of 16st3lb. I bet I’m at least 16 6 now. I officially suck.
Goodnight. Mat is bad.
Oh, one last thing before we go.
HOW CAN THIS EVER BE ALLOWED TO HAPPEN? Click this link…..
PPS at stupid OClock this morning, the sky looked lovely
